Honestly the biggest disappointment I had researching ABC was that medieval authors did not, in fact, see the creatures they were describing and were trying their best to describe them with their limited knowledge while going “what the fuck… what the fuck…”
Instead all those creatures you know came about from transcription and translation errors from copying Greco-Roman sources (who themselves got them from travelers’ tales from Persia and India - rhino -> unicorn, tiger -> manticore, python -> dragon, and so on).
So unicorns are real
behold… a unicorn
I always thought animals in medieval manuscripts looked like the result of having to draw say. A Tree Kangaroo, but your only source for what it looked like was your friend who heard it from a fellow who knows a man who swears he saw one once, whilst very drunk and lost, and I am SO PLEASED to find out this is, in fact, the case.
It’s wild having to explain this to men and then ask them to think about how they behave when it’s night and they’re walking behind women. They always look at me like I’m crazy. “I’m not doing anything!” “Jake, you’re 6 foot two inches tall.” “…so?” “You’re huge and could hurt us easily if you wanted to.” “But I wouldn’t!” “But she doesn’t know that. All she knows is that a huge guy is walking directly behind her at night.” “That’s not fair!” “Tell me about it.”
being an adult is just like. oh shit toothpaste is expensive. oh shit popcorn is expensive. oh shit cat food is expensive. oh shit gas is expensive. oh shit water is expensive. oh shi
so today I drove past a traffic sign that said ‘hey teens buckling up is totes yeet yo’
i wish i was joking but after we screamed a bit my brother attempted to get a picture as proof, failed, and ended up with this masterpiece that pretty much sums up the whole experience
In the near future, you are making dinner because you are about to meet your girlfriend’s dad for the first time. All you have in the kitchen is cooked frozen steaks. In walks your girlfriend and her dad, Gordon Ramsey.
This isn’t a prompt, this a fully finished horror story
Gordon ramsay, knowing this is not a high end resturaunt and you cannot afford to buy high end steaks, and that you do not claim to be a professional chef, appreciates the gesture and even gives some pointers on how one can cook on a budget and you all have a great time.
I hate how many people seem to think that Gordon Ramsay is all the person from Hell’s Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares when Gordon Ramsay actually is only like that with people who claim to be professional chefs and can’t even cook a hamburger without ruining 24 steps.
